We were sick of all of it…sick of being pushed around and not getting answers and sick of being sick….
I’d been sick for sometime and my every attempt to get a diagnosis led me to NOTHING. We just couldn’t believe stress could do this much and were really worried, it had to be something more.
In Dec of last year, I was so sick that I could barely move off the couch. And to top it off…Dec 23rd I received bloodwork that apparently showed markers for Leukemia. I was scared. Was I dying? What was going on and why did I feel this way….
So off to the Mayo clinic we went….my family wanted answers…and answers we got.
That week was the most eye opening experience that I’ve ever had.
I took my story (pages long) and everything i’d been through…and shared…an Internal Medicine specialist LISTENED for almost 2 hours…..I was so excited to finally get answers….
Lucy’s birth story, two babies later, multiple moves, new jobs and promotions, a death in our family (our amazing father in law) and all my sick history…..
And after I finished, he just looked at me….and in that moment all he saw was this little girl inside an old women’s body. He’d knew I suffered long enough…and he gave me my diagnosis….
Hashimoto (thyroid disorder – which I knew), Fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue…..all due to STRESS and the fact that I’d overworked my nervous system and it was living in CHOAS. Not only had my family been suffering….but their Momma had packed her backpack so full that it was no longer working properly….
In that moment, knowing that I wasn’t dying and knowing what I’d had…
I had so much relief….I was alive…..and was going to be for a long time…as long as I started to look after myself…and that had to start today…..
The TOP things he wanted me to do? MINDFULNESS..YOGA..and a SELFISH strong focus on ME. The other big one….take MORE time off work…..
Another sick leave? Me…on another sick leave….its funny though… as this time, when he told me….I almost felt relief….I remember feeling an immediate 100 pounds had lifted….I finally knew it was time to take myself back from WORK and give ME, back….to me.
And Yoga? Me? Ya right….I had tried it before and really disliked it (Actually Hated it – but my mother would say HATE is a strong word)…..but I had NO CHOICE.
He told me if I put the effort into ME, everything else will follow. His quote is forever intrenched in my brain…there is no you, without you!
So I went home….with a smile…a smile as big as the ones I used to feel when I was a little girl….that PINK smile I’d been missing…and I was excited to start my new journey…
And most of all, I WAS SO READY…..
Why is it that we wait to hit rock bottom before we do anything about it?
Would we allow this to happen to our children or even our best friend? Why, ourselves?
Why do we not put the effort into ourselves?
Why do we feel we aren’t as important anymore?
Why do we feel our bodies…these amazing works of art…will just carry us through…without any issues…..?
I see it daily…more and more Moms put all their efforts into their families and leave little time for themselves…..
Why? Why? Why?
When I look back…I realized that as I became selfish with work…I stopped doing the things I loved:
listening to music, exercising, being social, laughing…just being a KID….
Why do we let ourselves slide? We are still those women we were before our husbands and our kids. We still have needs and wants that need to be fulfilled.
I remember attempting to fill them in other ways…shopping was a big one…but in the end, the instant gratification only lasted so long and I was on to the next thing…seeking more….
And here I was…about to take on the next step of my life….without really knowing what was next…all i knew is that it was time to look after me….
SO I quit my job….yes, you heard that right…quit my job….the thing that meant the most to me (or so I thought)…..my identity….I left it behind and attempted to find a new one…identity that is….
And here I am….6 months later and a whole new women…one that has found herself..and her true identity.. and one that finally feels at peace in the world…
It wasn’t easy and its been exhausting at times…but well worth the effort.
I see many women, like myself suffering….wondering how to get out of the spiral they’ve put themselves in…however, what I don’t hear often, is the success of actually coming out on the other side…..So I am here to show you what I did…and what i’ve found to be successful and life changing.
I am not saying to quit your job.. for me, I was that LOW that i had no choice, but you have a choice NOW. You can choose to be different for yourself and the people around you.
Small changes can make big impacts on your lives…so stay tuned and listen…
And add…and share…we are in this journey together…
See you next time.
The Nancy Perspective 