What if your kids aren’t thriving because deep down you aren’t either?
What if your kids are the key to unlocking the emotions you hold within and all you’ve got to do right now is lean in and observe?
What if you are about to stop reading because you “feel” you aren’t NUMB and yet your kids are yelling in a way you’ve never seen before?
What if, this post today isn’t about igniting guilt but empowering your next step as a parent – right now.
I am sitting back, reading all about the incredible chaos that our children are feeling and its igniting a frustration in me that I need to share.
My wake up call came when my girls were two and four. I was attempting to take on the world and be a superhero in all aspects of my life and I was failing miserably. I was rocking my priority of work and failing in the place that mattered most – at home. I was faking it all and hoping that like everything else – if I faked it, I’d eventually make it. I was NUMBING it all – hoping it would pass.
My kids were yelling every day and despite the fact I was using calming tools to shift my energy – they saw through it all….and showed up in a way I had NO IDEA HOW TO DEAL WITH.
So – like us all right now – we visited the counsellors office for help. We sat in that office for about $5000 worth of counselling and no kids ever showed up. As the conversations flowed – It was becoming clear to me that I needed the courage to ask a very powerful question that I was avoiding and yet, I knew I needed to hear the answer.
Why aren’t my kids here?
We are hoping to get guidance and help with our kids, however they aren’t here for you to observe???
Why not?
The answer that came that day shifted my entire life…
In that moment, I fully admit – I cowered with guilt, shame, sadness and fear as she spoke….
YOUR KIDS ARE A MIRROR REFLECTION OF WHO YOU ARE.
They are superpower feelers and their abilities to show you your emotions within are incredible.
All you’ve got to do as a parent is TUNE in, observe how they are showing up and use this as your guide to move forward.
WHAT?
I am not angry?
I am not crying endlessly?
I am not screaming and looking at myself with such frustration and anger???
WTF???????
The next thing she said blew my mind.
What if you are?
What if, underneath the way you “think” you are showing up is actually the truth and you’ve NUMBED it all because it’s the only coping strategy you’ve been taught??
What if, the best way forward isn’t to attempt to fix your children, but instead DIVE deep into yourself and face the emotions you’ve been NUMBING your entire life??
You have no idea the spiral downward that came after this moment.
I didn’t believe her so I went home and did research of my own to find out – SHE WAS SPOT ON.
The science that backs this claim is incredible. Epigenetic’s proves that kids are actually in a meditative state until the age of eight to learn HOW to show up in this world and take in how society needs us to exist. There is so much to learn in those first eight years of life that nature actually intuitively aligns us with those around us to become our greatest mirrors. Who are those people? Our parents, our friends, the environments we surround ourselves with. The ways we are taught to cope, the ways they love and the ways we treat others are all a reflection of the things we’ve taught them – unconsciously as parents. It is only after the age of eight that their brains shift into another state and this state opens the door to perspective. As we all know – perspective only comes in time with lessons and awareness and this process takes a lifetime.
UGH…..
The reflection I saw of the two young girls SCREAMING at me daily was SO HARD TO see and accept and yet now – I know all of this to be true….
Almost six years later – the reflection we now see as a result of this profound awareness is why I need you to hear what I’m yelling.
YOU have CHOICE only in the NOW.
We cannot look back and stay too long in the guilt we are choosing to hold as a result of this awareness – we must see the opportunity in what is being asked and move forward knowing we are the key to unlocking it all.
So if your kids are giving you dirty looks….
NOT talking about their emotions…
Talking unkindly of others
Judging others…
Focusing too much on their looks…
Having Perfection issues…..
Anger issues
Anxiety issues
Too much technology issues
Distraction issues..
Here is your WAKE UP CALL.
STOP BLAMING YOUR KIDS
STOP TRYING TO FIX YOUR KIDS
START becoming aware of your greatest opportunity right now – YOUR GROWTH.
If you are choosing to raise your children as your parents did and not adapting to the ever changing world around us – you will be in for a wake up call when you watch your kids continue to barely survive in this world.
It’s time we did it differently and the time is NOW….
The greatest gift that happens as a result?
As I went inward and felt through the NUMBNESS I created – what came was a newfound love of flow, of trust and of intuitive guidance and more importantly a newfound love of myself.
When we love ourselves and strive for happiness within – we show our kids they are worthy of the same. You have this same choice…trust me…the time is NOW.
I hope this wake up call wakes you up….
I leave you with this…
Mirror mirror on the wall,
You have the choice to shift it all.
Follow the path back towards you,
and watch magic happen in all that you do.
Our kids are the reason we must choose to thrive,
Now, more than ever, they need us to guide….
We only have “ choice” – right now in the now…
So choose to grow, shift and change and be open to wow!
BYE for now.
The Nancy Perspective 